The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

A friend lent me this book. Although it sounds morbid, it was a friendly reminder of the recent journey I’ve undertaken. Each chapter - although not directly linked to my situation - reminded me of a few difficult times in my past that I was able to overcome. Whether that was changing my career path to something I was passionate about, feeling trapped from external circumstances, or finally being happy with the person I am today. 

Although there were many self discoveries in this book for Bronnie, I think I found more common ground with the pain and relief felt from those dying. Hearing Bronnie’s patients' perspectives - their feelings towards death and leaving their families behind, brought me more at ease with my mother's passing. Although my sister and I were beside Mum’s bedside in the last month - enjoying the last few days with her and managing her health medically - we never spoke about death.

It was mum’s wish to not speak about her timeline, so although she knew her medical condition, she was unaware when the cancer finally took over. So the last time she came home from the hospital wasn't because she was on the mend, it was because there was nothing more the doctors could do. The medication helped with this illusion - but unfortunately the meds also meant our last few weeks spent with her, were spent with someone else. We weren’t sure whether she knew we were there at all. 

Hearing some of Bronnie’s patients' stories put my mind at ease, because it was a relief to know that although mum didn't know how long she had to live - she knew on some level what was to come, and didn’t want to ruin our last few days together talking about her departure. And sure enough - a month after she passed, we found a bunch of mum's handwritten notes. Unfortunately, mum's handwriting became illegible towards the end, but we understood these words were her own obituary - written only a month before she passed. She wrote about how loved she felt from all her family and friends around her, how proud she was of each of her children, and although she was leaving this world, she knew we would be strong and independent enough to live our lives without her. Not only was this a big shock - it also gave us all some comfort in knowing we did the right thing - what she wanted. So even though she knew she was dying - she didn’t want to talk about it - she wanted to enjoy her last moments with her children in happiness and positivity - two traits which mum was known for, regularly emanated, and passed onto her three children. 

The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying is a book about learning. For some, it’s learning who they are, their next steps or how they can improve their lives. But for me - it was learning more about the dying and gaining some insight into the other side of the bed.

So whether you’re unsure, lost, sick, trapped or scared of regrets - give this book a go - you won't regret it.